A Powerful Way To Find Solutions To Problems
For some of us, worry has become our second nature. A friend told
me many years ago that if I didn't have something to worry about I
wouldn't know what to do with my life and to chill out!
This came as a shock as I had been aware that I needed to positively change my way of thinking and had been doing so for about 4 years by then so I thought I was really making great advances in my life.
But on reflection, she was right and I knew that if it was showing on the outside it must be creating terrible anxiety on the inside. I also understood that a mind at dis-ease can create exactly that, and medical scientists have proved time and time again that a stressed mind will create ill health in the body.
I needed to find a way to stop doing this but I was scared that if I didn't focus on the significant things that I needed to deal with in my life I would be like an ostrich sticking my head in the sand and someone else would then take control of my life.
The four column chart
I was pondering how I could possibly know what was significant and what was insignificant when I remembered the serenity prayer;
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
A light turned on for me, especially the part about having the wisdom to know the difference. After a lot of thinking I began an empowering process which I would like to share with you.
I took a large sheet of paper and drew up four columns from left to right (the third column being the widest) with the headings;
1. Problem
2. Can Change
3. Solution
4. Can't change
In the first column I wrote down everything I was worrying about, in the next column a big green tick next to those I knew I could change or could get help to change and then in the solutions column the brainstorming began. The last column I put a big red cross next to the things I couldn't change and affirmed that it was OK to let them go.
Back to the solutions column, this is where the brainstorming came in and it was imperative to write everything down that seemed like a solution no matter how crazy it seemed at the time. You can also enlist the help of a friend or family member to help you with this. It is amazing the resourcefulness you will find if you just play with ideas. For instance, I had a large loan debt and I wrote on my brainstorming sheet of paper to contact the bank manager and ask for a reduction in the payments and then took action and I actually got a reduction in my loan payments and they offered to freeze my account for 3 months. It is amazing how people will support you if you put your hand up and ask for help. Always ask yourself, how can I have a win/win in this situation?
Become a powerful problem solver
What happened after that exercise changed my whole attitude to worry and I became a problem solver extraordinaire instead of a worry wart. It empowered me so much that I felt happier and in control of my life. The big looming dark clouds of worry diminished into small manageable solutions and I was feeling lighter and happier. I looked at my chart and could see how much stuff I was schlepping around because I had never been taught how to deal with worry before. Worrying was just a natural thing people did in my family, they were experts at it.
Since doing that exercise a few times, I was amazed at how proficient I became at problem solving. I have taught my family the same problem solving process and how to do brainstorming because I wanted to give them the skills to find solutions to get what they want or to think more creatively (outside the square)
Nowadays I don't need to draw up the chart as the process is imbedded in my head like a template and when any challenges arise they automatically get filtered into the appropriate columns in my mind and I can pull out solutions from the vast bank of knowledge I have to draw on.
It is important to deal with your problems straight away because once you see a solution, it is not a problem anymore and you will be a much happier person for it, not to mention having a healthier body and more time and energy to enjoy life.
This came as a shock as I had been aware that I needed to positively change my way of thinking and had been doing so for about 4 years by then so I thought I was really making great advances in my life.
But on reflection, she was right and I knew that if it was showing on the outside it must be creating terrible anxiety on the inside. I also understood that a mind at dis-ease can create exactly that, and medical scientists have proved time and time again that a stressed mind will create ill health in the body.
I needed to find a way to stop doing this but I was scared that if I didn't focus on the significant things that I needed to deal with in my life I would be like an ostrich sticking my head in the sand and someone else would then take control of my life.
The four column chart
I was pondering how I could possibly know what was significant and what was insignificant when I remembered the serenity prayer;
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
A light turned on for me, especially the part about having the wisdom to know the difference. After a lot of thinking I began an empowering process which I would like to share with you.
I took a large sheet of paper and drew up four columns from left to right (the third column being the widest) with the headings;
1. Problem
2. Can Change
3. Solution
4. Can't change
In the first column I wrote down everything I was worrying about, in the next column a big green tick next to those I knew I could change or could get help to change and then in the solutions column the brainstorming began. The last column I put a big red cross next to the things I couldn't change and affirmed that it was OK to let them go.
Back to the solutions column, this is where the brainstorming came in and it was imperative to write everything down that seemed like a solution no matter how crazy it seemed at the time. You can also enlist the help of a friend or family member to help you with this. It is amazing the resourcefulness you will find if you just play with ideas. For instance, I had a large loan debt and I wrote on my brainstorming sheet of paper to contact the bank manager and ask for a reduction in the payments and then took action and I actually got a reduction in my loan payments and they offered to freeze my account for 3 months. It is amazing how people will support you if you put your hand up and ask for help. Always ask yourself, how can I have a win/win in this situation?
Become a powerful problem solver
What happened after that exercise changed my whole attitude to worry and I became a problem solver extraordinaire instead of a worry wart. It empowered me so much that I felt happier and in control of my life. The big looming dark clouds of worry diminished into small manageable solutions and I was feeling lighter and happier. I looked at my chart and could see how much stuff I was schlepping around because I had never been taught how to deal with worry before. Worrying was just a natural thing people did in my family, they were experts at it.
Since doing that exercise a few times, I was amazed at how proficient I became at problem solving. I have taught my family the same problem solving process and how to do brainstorming because I wanted to give them the skills to find solutions to get what they want or to think more creatively (outside the square)
Nowadays I don't need to draw up the chart as the process is imbedded in my head like a template and when any challenges arise they automatically get filtered into the appropriate columns in my mind and I can pull out solutions from the vast bank of knowledge I have to draw on.
It is important to deal with your problems straight away because once you see a solution, it is not a problem anymore and you will be a much happier person for it, not to mention having a healthier body and more time and energy to enjoy life.
posted by global take off at
5:02 AM
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