Innovative Uses for Radio Pagers

It's amazing how inventive people can be when it comes to finding good uses for radio pagers. Here is a tongue in cheek look at some suggested uses for pagers - all meant entirely for your amusement of course!
• A hammer - yes, somebody was once spotted trying to bang a drawing pin into a notice board with the aid of their pager;
• A doorstop - need to keep a door open to increase ventilation? No problem at all - just jam your radio pager into the hinge;
• A paperweight - OK, maybe not as elegant as some other paperweights but very practical for stopping papers blowing around on your desk;
• Spinning the bottle - if you need to allocate responsibility (aka 'blame') around the table but don't have a convenient bottle to hand, then just reach for your pagers;
• Getting someone's attention - haranguing your staff only to find that one of them appears not to be paying attention? Then you'll be amazed at how the aerodynamic qualities of the radio pager will help it fly unerringly towards its target if you throw it at the person concerned;
• Interpersonal relationships - wondering how to sympathetically break the news to employees that they will not be getting a bonus this year? Do it the modern way - send a message to their pagers and avoid explanations/reassurance etc;
• Sounding dynamic - if you are worried that your employees don't think you have sufficient vision to lead them, try sending out a message along the lines of "we are launching a programme of deworkstationisation". That should do the trick;
• Sounding dynamic 2 - if you are looking for ways to motivate your employees and put a positive spin on anything, including redundancies, try sending out a message along the lines or "we have decided to seriously deemphasise a number of people";
• Starting a riot - this is a good one! Make a companywide announcement of major cutbacks due to a lack of funds and a financial crisis. Follow that up one hour later with a paged message to managers, confirming arrangements for the forthcoming company-funded dinner and dance for all executive personnel and their spouses.
• The bottle opener - yes, if you try hard enough using the belt clip at the rear (depending upon the model), it is possible to open a bottle with a radio pager. Well, that or you'll break the clip!
Although you may find it hard to believe, we promise all the above are based on some reality. Bet you never thought that pagers could be so versatile!

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