Top Communication Skills That Make All the Difference

Isn't it odd that while our means of communication are ever expanding the transparency of what we exchange seems to be on the down fall?
Do you feel that you are hardly ever heard/understood in the way you intended? Well this is all so very frequent. It still happens to me, regardless of my ongoing expertise in this particular area.
Here are some keys points that will pay:
Do you feel that you truly listen/read/pay full attention to what someone is telling you? Or are you sort of listening to them while doing/thinking of something else?
When asked a question, do you feel that you are giving a consistent reply to it or side stepping the issue without being aware of it?
When you conclude a deal with someone do you keep it in mind and respect it or do you often forget about it?
When someone shares something with you are you able to tell, how important it may be to them? Or do you dismiss it as being insignificant, because it would have been the case if it happened to you?
Do you always listen just so that you can offer advice?
And most of all do you pay full attention to the words used, totally relying on them?
If you recognise yourself in any of the above, don't be surprised that you are the first person to be sabotaging your communications.
Before we begin to complain about being misinterpreted it serves to first check out what we are doing.
When we listen to someone we need to do just that and not a multitude of other tasks at the same time. If we want to fully acknowledge the incoming info we need to make some space for it. This means ceasing our racing thought process and focusing on what is being expressed. By not detaching our personal data when taking someone else into account we will miss the point. In this way, we unconsciously interpret everything that is coming our way, by using our personal preconceptions.
Answering someone's question whether briefly or in more detail, we need to touch what they want to know and not feed them with what we would like them to know. For example, I have asked people: "How LONG have you been here"? And they have answered with a detailed description of the MEANS that they have used to get here. Or I have asked the colour of something and got the size etc...Now the only valid exception in bypassing a specific request is if somebody asks a question that you feel uncomfortable about. In which case you can answer by asking another question: "Why do you want to know"?
When you come to an agreement with an individual/s even if you haven't signed a contract, you are responsible for your word. This means that if anything unexpected happens that stops you from fulfilling your part of the deal, you are meant to give notice. And not just to forget all about it. Because by doing so you lose credibility, not only toward any third party, but also toward yourself.
You cannot and should not hear people, at any time and compare with what (you imagine), would be your reactions. Because, we are all unique therefore we all need to separate our personal feelings from everyone else's. This leaves the passage free for a clearer and truer flow, the only way that we can achieve any healthy closeness with anyone.
When someone confides they don't always do so because they need advice. Sometimes people just need to talk and feel that they are really heard. And sometimes when the listener doesn't barge in, in a hurry, the speaker may even find their own solutions. Through their' effort to be explicit, they might just stumble on their obstacle. Even if this doesn't happen, advice is never useful unless it is asked for and even then it doesn't mean that it will be followed.
And the biggest trap in erroneous communication is when we base ourselves only on the verbal language used. Did you know that most of the time I get to the heart of what a person is feeling without really listening to their' specific words. Words are all so misleading, not as trustworthy as a multitude of other signs.

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