Is Your Life a "Yes And" Or a "Yes But" Life?
One little word -- the 'and' word -- is the difference between getting something done with amazing results, or staying in a conversation or conflict about it until someone gets weary and gives in! The difference between creating a win/lose outcome and a win/win outcome. You choose!
My first experience of this was in the process of learning Improvisation. One of the basic rules of Improv (yes, there are rules!) is to accept and build what someone says to you on stage. The second you deny your Improv partner on stage in what they say, the scene is finished...over...dead! They key to keep it alive is taking whatever they say and build on it to keep things moving. And the way to do that is the art of using 'YESm and' to make it so.
Think of this distinction. Imagine you are in a meeting to brainstorm solutions. One of your colleagues comes up with an idea. This in turn sparks and idea that you have and you present your thoughts. Your colleague immediately says something to the effect -- 'That's an interesting idea, BUT we have budget constraints!'
Yikes! What just happened? Your idea was squashed like a bug! Totaled! Right there in front of your face. (After working over 20 years in the corporate oil and gas arena, this behavior runs rampant. AND it's truly amazing anything ever gets done!)
Now...replay this scene. Your colleague says to you -- 'That is an interesting idea, AND I wonder how we might come up with the resources to make it happen.' Hmmmm...same or different?
I have facilitated hundreds of participants and coaching clients on the skill of using 'YES and' in their communications and just to see if there could be a difference. And survey says that 9 out of 10 will have different results in a conversation / project / relationship just by shifting any 'but' to an 'and'.
There is such a different quality of communication, a built in honoring of someone else's idea and validation for their intelligence. After all, we are not in competition, we are in the age of collaboration. The better the idea, the better the result, the better off the entire business and community.
One little word change. One little SHIFT in results. One big SHIFT in your business and life.
Give it a try!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Patty_Walters
My first experience of this was in the process of learning Improvisation. One of the basic rules of Improv (yes, there are rules!) is to accept and build what someone says to you on stage. The second you deny your Improv partner on stage in what they say, the scene is finished...over...dead! They key to keep it alive is taking whatever they say and build on it to keep things moving. And the way to do that is the art of using 'YESm and' to make it so.
Think of this distinction. Imagine you are in a meeting to brainstorm solutions. One of your colleagues comes up with an idea. This in turn sparks and idea that you have and you present your thoughts. Your colleague immediately says something to the effect -- 'That's an interesting idea, BUT we have budget constraints!'
Yikes! What just happened? Your idea was squashed like a bug! Totaled! Right there in front of your face. (After working over 20 years in the corporate oil and gas arena, this behavior runs rampant. AND it's truly amazing anything ever gets done!)
Now...replay this scene. Your colleague says to you -- 'That is an interesting idea, AND I wonder how we might come up with the resources to make it happen.' Hmmmm...same or different?
I have facilitated hundreds of participants and coaching clients on the skill of using 'YES and' in their communications and just to see if there could be a difference. And survey says that 9 out of 10 will have different results in a conversation / project / relationship just by shifting any 'but' to an 'and'.
There is such a different quality of communication, a built in honoring of someone else's idea and validation for their intelligence. After all, we are not in competition, we are in the age of collaboration. The better the idea, the better the result, the better off the entire business and community.
One little word change. One little SHIFT in results. One big SHIFT in your business and life.
Give it a try!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Patty_Walters
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1:10 AM
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